How to form positive relationships?
Forming a positive relationship with yourself is the first step toward allowing love into your life. Our attachment pattern which is formed based on the experiences we have had as a child, play a big role in how we connect with ourselves and the world.
Relationships have the potential of triggering a lot of distress in us. For example, when your friend seems too busy to hangout with you. When a date goes well but the person never texts. When a person you are seeing gives you mixed messages. When being around your parents makes you regress to your old self. When in a relationship you feel dismissed or taken for granted. How you respond in these situations depend on your understanding of the world and your relationship with yourself.
When you are connected to yourself and mindful of your feelings you gain an awareness and an insight. This might help you understand your patterns, where your emotions come from and what your body in trying to communicate to you. Mindful awareness about the feeling of distress, like stress, anxiety, sadness, anger, depression helps you look at these emotions with curiosity and respect what they are trying to tell you as opposed to be scared of them or ignore them. This gives you an insight into your response to the situation which might help you feel a sense of calm and relief as opposed to guilty, shame and anxiety. A strong sense of self and inner connection might help you connect with other people and be more empathetic toward them.
In a romantic relationship this inner connection might help you understand what you want, how you want to feel and allows you to pick the person who is right for you to depend on. We want to be in a relationship that makes us feel secure not anxious. If you are in a relationship with a person who has an attachment patter that triggers anxiety for you, then self awareness might help you communicate your needs to them, making them aware of where your emotions are coming from. And if you are someone who feels the need to maintain a distance from your partner. Then awareness, insight and connection with yourself brought about by mindfulness, might allow you to feel more grounded and you might not act on your impulse of pushing your partner away. The more you are grounded within your adult self the more you might be open and understanding of your partners needs.