People pleasing is just not about saying yes to others, it’s constantly trying to meet other people’s needs by decoding what they want from you or expect from you. People pleasers put others’ needs above their own. There is a constant fear of abandonment, fear of being alone, fear of being left behind and fear of criticism. By being agreeable they try to protect themselves from these fears.
Have you ever wondered, why do we need people in our lives? why are relationships important? With my experience both professionally and personally I have learned that it does not matter how much we try to convince ourselves that, “I am better off alone” it never works. I am a big promoter of independence, self-reliance, self-trust and self care, but that does not mean we don’t need to depend on other people.
Saying no is not easy for someone who is a people pleaser. For them saying no would mean that they are not being nice. Saying no could threaten their relationship and bring up fear of abandonment. Saying no becomes easier with connecting with yourself, understanding your needs and prioritizing yourself. Practicing saying no and showing patience and compassion to yourself when you cannot say no. Lets find out ways in which you can say no and not feel guilty and apologetic.
Learning to stop being a people pleaser is significant to living a peaceful and content life. The over accommodating, self neglecting behavior that comes with being a people pleaser can jeopardize your inner peace and relationships. People pleasers tend to blame themselves for everything and disconnect from their own needs to make others happy. People pleasers care a lot about external validation and how they are perceived by other people.
Grief is a healing process we experience due to the loss of something significant. It is a natural reaction to our loss. Grief can last for months or years. There is no timeline to grief. Thoughts, feelings and emotions can come and go. Our experience of grief is influenced by a lot of different factors. Grief hurts, it follows it’s own process and there is no time limit on grief. It looks different for everyone. Grief is not only felt because of death, it is a result of any type of loss.
How will you know that the low feeling that you are experiencing is depression? Let’s talk about a few questions you can ask yourself to understand the feeling better and also a few symptoms of depression. Feeling sad does not always mean we are experiencing depression. Depression It is a feeling of emptiness, hopelessness, worthlessness, helplessness. Depression prevents you from listening to your inner voice.
We all feel stressed and anxious from time to time. Stress can be triggered by a transitory situation. With proper support, self care and self awareness we can provide our body the opportunity to reset. Anxiety is an emotional consequence of constant stress. We feels anxious when we are constantly living in the future. Anxiety is not always bad. A little anxiety helps us show up for things. Then at what point does anxiety cross the line and become unhealthy?
How to forgive and let go is something my clients ask me a lot. Who is forgiveness for? Is forgiveness important to let go? Forgiveness is a part of the process of healing. It happens, but only when we are ready for it. There is no rush to getting to forgiveness. Connecting with yourself and making space for your feeling is a step toward healing.
Dating a narcissist can be very traumatic. You feel like you are losing your sense of self. You have no awareness of what you like or dislike anymore. Somehow it becomes about meeting the needs of the narcissistic partner. It’s difficult to just rely on people’s traits to tell if the person you are interacting with has a toxic behavior pattern or not. But you can guide yourself in figuring that out.